Little Cat Looks Up

     I guess the first thing I'll tell you, is that I'm not little. I'm 5'7.5" tall (my acting resume says 5'7", my modeling one says 5'8", we do what we can to survive), and I used to be skinny, but I'm not anymore. I used to be anorexic, and I'm not that anymore, either. And that's a good thing. Even if, in my industry, it can sometimes be hard to remember that. 

    Am I getting ahead of myself? I am an actor, model, musician, puppeteer, artist, singer, songwriter, busker, teacher, and general gig worker in New York City, where I've been living since the summer of 2010. If I had started this blog then, or literally any time my mom has suggested it over the last decade and some change, it would probably be more interesting than it is, now. But she insists it'll still be interesting. So here I am. Writing. 

    My mom and I sometimes have a fraught relationship, and sometimes it's fantastic. I think that if a mother and her daughter have a fantastic relationship all of the time, it's unlikely that said daughter ever actually flew the nest. I think flying the nest naturally creates a bit of a rift. And that can be a good thing. Even if, during times of friction, it can sometimes be hard to remember that. 

    I decided to finally listen to my mother, at least about this. Because this last month has been very interesting. Hell, this last week has been very interesting. Maybe my story is only interesting to me, because I make a habit of "looking up." You know... checking around for morsels of joy, little stars shining from behind clouds, little leaves just bursting out, little chinks of sunlight snapping away from window to window on a cloudy day. 

Since June first I have: 

• Returned from a contract in Wisconsin
  
• Went to several auditions
• Went to several doctor's appointments that were honestly super wild
• Video taped several more auditions
• Met a friend for cakes shaped like llamas 
• Participated in four live performances at NYC hospitals, for a major charity organization 
• Flown to Colorado and back for my cousin's wedding (which had a lot of hippies in it) 
• Bought tickets to fly to Europe and back next month (even though I can't afford it!) 
• Went to my tour roommate's baby's SECOND birthday party (HOW?)
  
• Got caught in a crowd crush during a gun scare at a carnival at a different birthday (same day)
• Hurt my leg pretty badly falling in the crowd crush, slowly (mostly) recovered (we'll see)
• Taught kids music lessons over Zoom
• Made bone broth
• Utterly murdered a plant, and determinedly started re-propagating it. To be continued? 
• Went to NYU school of dentistry and got my WHOLE HEAD X-RAYED! 
  
• Modeled at two different major photography schools, several times
• Convinced some of the photographers to buy me an ice cream sandwich (yum) 
• Made a new friend who gave me free yarn so I can re-learn how to knit 
• Finally went to the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island for the first time (and saw a friend IN it!)
• Had a picnic in the park and saw a movie with a friend who has now left on a major tour
• Got back into the gym 
  
• Got back into therapy
• Got back into eating all the mulberries in the neighborhood 
• Got zero responses from several agency follow-up emails :( 
• Applied for a ton of wedding singer positions 
• Applied for catering 
• Heard from nobody :( 
• Got lots of help from friends finding supplemental gigs anyway, because my friends rule
• Remembered I don't really like "rule" as a descriptor... 
• Bought an accordion from a friend (oops, I tripped)
• Wrote a few songs (not on the accordion) (yet) (sorry neighbors) 
• Helped put together the PR video, and finish the script for, a baller Rockabilly show!
• Got called old by a casting director, straight to my face
• Started working a side-job with a different casting director, who is much nicer
• Was a stand-in for a major runway show's rehearsal/tech process
• Did a masterclass for an elementary-school-age musical theatre summer camp 
• Voted!
• Made friends with some Showtime boys in the subway 
• Won the lotto to Life of Pi and saw it with one of my oldest, dearest friends, and CRRIIEEED!
• Ate a LOT of ice cream
• Survived (so far) the Tatooine-level dust/smoke/smog storms in NYC
•  Got some callbacks that I have to prepare for, oh no, SOS, there's so much material, send help!

        And that's just what I can remember. Imagine what I'd remember if I actually wrote stuff down? And like, gone into detail, wouldn't those stories be more interesting fleshed out? I dunno, maybe not. 

    But I feel like it COULD be interesting to SOMEONE. Maybe even one person would go, huh, I have a question about that; or, I never thought that was a thing you could do; or, there is a much better way to do that and I'm gonna tell her how; or, there's a much better way to do that, and now that I see her doing it so badly, but doing it anyway, I am gonna do it MYSELF, and show her up. 

    And honestly, if so... you better.  

    'Til next time... look up. 
    xo, 
    -Cat 

"Look, Ma, I Eat Now!" 

photo credit: Joe Saulenas